Bowling fun (or not so much)

So, a couple of weeks ago in church, the preacher was telling some story about taking his kids bowling, and (rather than listening to how that was connected to his Biblical message) I got stuck on the idea of taking my own toddler bowling. Well, today we did it. Here's how it all went down...

What she's thinking: Hmm...looks kind of fun. I guess I'll give it a whirl.
What she said: 'Oh, WOW! Balls!'


What she's thinking: Wait. What did those kids just do with those balls?
What she said: 'Where da balls go, Mommy?'

What she's thinking: Oh, crap! Those balls are going to hit the...
What she said: 'Oh NO!! PINS!!!!!'


What she's thinking: Why in the world did you just knock down those pins that were lined up so nicely minding their own business.
What she said: (rather frantically) 'Uh-oh!!! PINS FALL DOWN!!'

What she's thinking: Daddy, please!!! In the name of all that is good and holy, DO NOT roll the ball towards the pins!
What she said: 'Daddy, pwease, no roll it! Put da ball on da table! Put da ball on da table! PWEASE put da ball on da table!' What she's thinking: Oh, good! I think Mommy just said we're leaving. For the love of Pete, who thinks this crazy, chaotic game is any fun anyway?!
What she said: 'Wet's go to da rest-a-want and get some wunch! Wet's GO!'
And there you have it, I think we're officially crossing Professional Bowler off of the list of hopes and dreams we have for our daughter. (Sigh.)