Friday, April 27, 2007

Is that Baby Don King?

Now, this story has only very recently become funny to me. This kind of thing can seriously traumatize a first time mommy. Here goes...

It was the day before my mother-in-law was coming to meet her precious new granddaughter for the first time. I, of course, wanted Eleanor to look perfect. Well, I had noticed for a couple of days that her scalp was a little dry and flaky. I thought, "Why, that will never do. She must be a true vision of beauty when her grandmother lays eyes on her for the first time." So, there I am (sleep-deprived and delirious) trying to think of how to moisturize my baby's scalp back to perfection in just a few short hours. Aha...I had just read in Parent's magazine that should your newborn's scalp become dry, you should rub petroleum jelly on it. In hindsight, I can tell you that I either didn't read that article properly, the article wasn't intended for babies with hair, or (more likely the case) I made the whole thing up in my crazy, little new mommy head. But, at the time, I thought the petroleum jelly was just the ticket to give my little girl that special look she needed to impress her adoring Mimi. Boy, special look was right! Here it is....drum roll, please...the result of putting petroleum jelly on your newborn's head...I can't believe I'm showing you this...

Okay, if you're not laughing, close my blog right now because we can't be friends. Seriously, that's one of the top ten funniest things I've ever seen.

So, as luck would have it, my friend Laura was on her way over to visit me. I called and told her that I would leave the door unlocked for her, and that I would probably be a little busy when she arrived. When she opened the door, I was in the kitchen scrubbing Eleanor's head in the sink, and I said in a very calm voice, "Laura, something bad happened." When she saw what I had done, she tried to be a good friend and not bust out laughing since I was obviously upset. She did, however, encourage me to let her take a couple of pictures, which I will be forever grateful for. I kept asking her in this really panicked voice, "What am I gonna do? I ruined my baby's head." To which she replied (and I will never, ever forget this), "It'll come out. My grandpa always used to put petroleum jelly in his hair."

I had already washed my poor, tiny baby's head ten times with regular baby shampoo, so I started trying to think of another solution. Well, petroleum jelly is greasy, and what cuts through grease? Dish soap. So, I washed Eleanor's head eight more times...this time using Palmolive. Still nothing. Come to think of it, I ought to write those people a letter.

Anyway, the end of the story comes after about 40 more washes and rinses, using an entire bottle of baby shampoo. And there was my precious baby, looking more like her sweet self, and less like Don King.

6 comments:

Janice said...

OH. MY. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not stop laughing after reading this!!!! Your post definitely did not dissapoint! I am still laughing right now ;-D . I wonder what Eleanor will say when she sees these pictures a few years from now? You can always say, "Mommy will put petroleum jelly on your head if you misbehave!".

You are one funny girl!

Susie PSU said...

You actually had me laughing out loud on this one. Totally hysterical!!

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious!!!! I am your friend!!! One time when I was in 6th grade a boy in science class liked me and put a bottle of glycerin over my head. He didn't know the top was loose and the entire thing dumped on my head. Talk about embarrassing, especially for a middle school girl to walk around with an oil slick on her head. Like Eleanor, it took a million washes to get out. Great post!

Shana-Lynn said...

Thanks for the great laugh, I was almost in tears!! That last picture I still am laughing about, I had to come back to write in a comment because I was laughing too hard. My husband thought I was crazy.

Kristen said...

I'm falling off my chair laughing, and Diet Dr. Pepper is coming out my nose. There's no better way to start off morning!

Laura P said...

aaahhh--i remember the day fondly! it was so funny at the time, but i think even more funny now, looking back on it. that first picture doesnt even look like Eleanor! o my goodness. hilarious.

Laura