Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Watch out...I know Tae Bo

Okay, sorry about the lack of posting (SO not like me), but we were having so much fun with Mimi that I couldn't find the time to post. Then, yesterday, Eleanor and I were sulking because she went home. We forced ourselves to suck it up today, and get back into our normal routine, which now includes...

Tae Bo. For a little over a week now, I've been doing a Tae Bo workout tape in the mornings. I did not do it while my mother-in-law was here, as it's embarrassing enough to do with my six-month-old looking on, much less another adult. But today I got back into the groove, and got my workout on.

Me+Tae Bo= Hilarious on so many levels for so many reasons. But mostly because I am THE most uncoordinated, least graceful person that has ever walked (or stumbled) upon God's creation. I'm pretty sure even super-fit, uber-healthy Billy Blanks himself would drop dead of a heart attack if he snuck a peak through my living room window and saw me butchering his workout moves. Seriously, my body flails about in ways that make a headless chicken look like Sammy Davis, Jr. Whatever. I figure because I'm sweaty and sore at the end of the tape, I must be getting a good workout.

But about Billy Blanks...can you say superfreak?! He is so weird and so lame that it is sometimes hard for me to believe that he's actually human. The first time I did the video was probably the best workout I've had so far because I laughed my butt right off. Is he serious? First of all, let's talk wardrobe. He's wearing a red, spandex half-shirt. Half-shirt?! I don't care if you're sporting a twelve pack of rock-hard abs, dudes don't wear half-shirts. And then there are those "motivational" phrases that he uses to "inspire" you throughout the tape. For example, 'I'm watching you. I'm always watching you. Even when my back is turned, I'm still watching you.' Actually, you're not, Billy. I'm watching you. Because you're inside my TV. Have they explained to you how this video thing works? And my other favorite- 'Don't give up. Look to a higher power. Whatever higher power you believe in, look to that for strength.' Really? I happen to believe in THE higher power- the REAL one, and am pretty sure He doesn't care whether or not I finish this Tae Bo tape. Nice try, though, Billy.

Anyway, as goofy and ridiculous as I find Billy Blanks to be, I'm going to continue his workout in pursuit of my former body. I hope he doesn't read this and come Tae Bo me. I think I'll do an extra closet check tonight just to make sure he's really not watching me.

7 comments:

Jamie Rives said...

Way to work out! I'm trying to convince myself to get out the Pilates DVDs...maybe after I finish the bedding ;)

Janice said...

You are too funny! That is so great you get to work out! I wonder what Eleanor thinks of your moves? My children look at me funny when I try to dance in front of them.

Denise said...

Girl, I TOTALLY agree with you. That guy is a freak! He's watching me all the time??? wHAteVeR. I kept thinking, "What kind of wacko watches this and thinks, 'Oh good, Tae Bo man is watching me. I can do ANYTHING!'" I love the boxing/whatever gloves he wears as well. You need to protect your hands from - what, air????? I own at least one of his DVDs and did get a decent workout but took to watching it with my own music and the TV volume OFF. I heard of a thing like Netflix where you can actually rent exercise DVDs. You may consider that. Also, if I can get off my lazy butt, I can loan you a few exercise DVDs since it's a good many months until I'm doing ANYTHING physical (other than carrying a baby in my baby). Let me know if you want more or if you and Mr. Banks are sticking together! Sooooo glad you are back and posting! I missed you. I do need an Eleanor update though (with pix, of course!)

Kimberly said...

OMG this had me cracking up!!!!! I didn't even know you could still buy a 1/2 shirt!!! We have a picture of my brother in law in a panama jack 1/2 shirt from 1984, it's the GREATEST!

Wendy said...

you go girl!! I have the Tae Bo Videos collecting dust SOMEWHERE! NO idea where. No tae bo for me for a while. I will be stuck doing physical therapy exercises. YUCK! You keep it up though!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. totally agree. Keep goin' girl and you'll be wearing half shirts and saying goofy inspirational comments too. . .ha ha. But hey, you are getting a great workout, so you tae-bo all day long wiht little Eleanor watching--pretty soon she'll be doing squats and throwing corner jabs too :)

laura

Susie PSU said...

You absolutely made me laugh out loud! I, too, have started to work out...but I don't have anyone telling me they are watching me. I think that would weird me out! LOL